ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize