Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
