okay pat passed out under dana's car
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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