David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
