If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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