school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
