Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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