Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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