you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
