I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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