she woke up with a sticky ear
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
