is wine microwaveable?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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