Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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