butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize