My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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