So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
