my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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