i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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