did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
