Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
