shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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