I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
