did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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