im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
