so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
