I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
