I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
