I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
