The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Randomize
