Yo dont text me then not text me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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