Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize