you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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