16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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