Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
