Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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