There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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