drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So much rum. So many feels.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
