He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize