her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
