he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
