Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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