i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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