i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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