You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
