dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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