how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize