Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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