Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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