I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
