Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
