you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
