That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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