My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
