Someone shit on the floor
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
