And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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