There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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