Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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