Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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